My self evaluation and the evaluation of my parents and coworkers all produced very similar results. I do not have a problem speaking in groups, formal or informal, depending on what is being discussed and what I have to say. Apparently this comes across to others because no one thought I had any anxiety, that I was not verbally aggressive in any way, and that I was a competent listener.
     I found the questions surprising when addressed to others, as they could not "know" if my heart beat faster when addressing people, or any other impressions that can be masked. They tried their best to answer them accurately, but complained the whole time!
     I found the idea of perception as an influence over communication was very interesting. First impressions, while not set in stone, can change the way we approach communicating with someone.
Communication processing (O'Hair & Weimann, 2012), state that what you see, hear, or touch will be unique to you . . . because of the ways in which you select, organize and interpret information.

Reference:

O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.

Strategies for Effective Communication

     The questions posed to the class this week had us evaluating whether we communicate differently with different cultures of people, and if so, in what ways? I thought about these questions during the week, and it made me aware of my actions and conversations.
     When I am in class with my co-workers, we work in sync and require little communication because we are so familiar and comfortable with each other. When interacting with the parents of my class, I can be blunt and sarcastic with some because they appreciate my humor. Others I am more reserved with, sensing through body language that they do not want to get as personal.
    Running errands today, I became engaged in a conversation with a woman on line in front of me who was dressed in traditional Indian clothing. Remembering the Platinum Rule, "treat others as they would like to be treated (Beebe & Beebe, 2011)," I refrained from commenting on her clothing. As an American, I would like to be complimented on what I was wearing, but I didn't know if she would feel uncomfortable with the attention.
     At the gym this morning, I avoided asking an older gentleman (my age) how to use the equipment he was using because I didn't want him to think I was being forward, so I waited until a young guy was on it.     
     I feel my communication skills are mature enough to be adapted to these situations. But to communicate on a professional level with cultures I am not familiar with, I would employ the following strategies:
     1) Listen with attention and concern.
     2) Search for similarities or common ground with which to bring a comfort level to the
           relationship.
     3) Suspend judgment.
     4) Be aware of any nonverbal behavior, and recognize my own, controlling it if necessary.
     5) Smile and be sincere.

Reference:

Beebe, S.A., Beebe, S.J., & Redmond, M.V. (2011). Interpersonal communication: Relating to others (6th ed.). Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon.

 .

     For my communications assignment, I needed to watch a show I had never seen before without the sound on. I watched a show called The United States of Tara. It was the perfect show to observe nonverbal communicative behaviors! Tara experiences multiple personalities when she is under stressful situations, and her family tries to support her as she stops taking the medication that was preventing this. The actions of her separate personalities were pronounced to help the audience identify them.
"T" was a teenage girl, obvious by her choice of dress and bouncy, giggly behavior. "Buck" was a man, displayed also by choice of dress and sauntering walk. He also clapped with his hands higher with elbows out when a performance ended. "Alice" was a 50's perfect housewife who wore an A line dress, apron, and pumps while doing household chores.
     I could determine the relationships of the immediate family members for most of the characters because of the context of the household. A woman who came in during dinner seemed to be flirting with the husband of the family through eye contact, coy smiles and the way she held her head when she talked. When I watched with the sound, she turned out to be Tara's sister, and her words reinforced the fact that she was flirting with Tara's husband.
     Many of the nonverbal cues were missed without the words to go with it. Although the assumptions I made about the characters were pretty close, the conversations that went with the actions enriched the show. Once I knew the characters and premise of the show, I watched another episode without the sound. It was easier to guess the story line being familiar with the characters.

An Effective Communicator

Reverend Doctor Charlene Hogan

Dr. Hogan was the guest speaker at a career seminar I attended recently. She left a profound impression on me just from her style of communication, as her message was common to most career seminars. The body language, confidence, and positivity she exuded while speaking about believing in yourself, never giving up, etc. made the message richer and more believable than any other I had heard before. The process of her communication, how it was said, made her communication more effective. Her use of different behaviors was appropriate to the venue, shouting at



times and speaking quietly and directly, with eye contact, to some individuals. But I believe her posture and carriage is what remains in my mind; she communicated such confidence I would believe anything she said could be true.
 Her mannerisms were foremost on my mind when I recently interviewed for a job. I stood taller, shoulders back, and relaxed my face into a smile. When I spoke, I spoke a little louder than I normally would have, and was sure to pronounce my words clearly. Although I had to admit in the interview that I didn't have experience in many areas, I was still selected to continue on to a second interview, and I feel it had a lot to do with the way I communicated, not what I communicated. (I didn't get the job--I really wasn't qualified--but I almost pulled it off!)

Awareness of the realities of bias

Throughout this course, it has been recognized by a large number of my colleagues and myself just how blind many of us are to the biases, oppressions and aggressions that are happening all around us. I can only assume that many of the families I come in contact with are similarly ignorant. It is my hope that the generation of children growing up now will embrace diversity, not just tolerate it.

Early on in the course, I began to have a feeling of obligation to expose myself to a more diverse community. However, I am making it a goal to remain in the community of my dominant culture and enlighten the families I serve about the realities of microaggressions and internalized oppression. Children learn from what they see and hear from their parents; it is important that parents eyes are opened to the damage they might be unintentionally be causing.

     As a last note to my colleagues in this class, I would like to thank each and every one of you for your personal reflections and viewpoints. I enjoyed every week and looked forward to the readings, the extra videos, and our exchange of ideas. Good luck in your pursuits, and I hope to see you in future classes! Maybe at a conference for education!

 

A theoretical family from Afghanistan comes to my center

     For my assignment, I chose Afghanistan even though I have heard of it before because what little I think I know is probably incorrect. If a child was being enrolled at my center whose family is here either permanently or temporarily, I want to be sure to address them in a way that will help them feel welcome.

    How are they coming to the center? Expectedly, through an agency, or unexpectedly, showing up at my door for a tour? Obviously if they were expected, I would research what I could about the country, its political relationship with the U.S. and read up on it's cultures and traditions. By doing some preliminary research, I found that women and men do not touch; I would be sure not to offer my hand for a handshake. I also found that women do not make eye contact with men; I would be careful to avoid this.

     Their family ties are very important, and cultural traditions relating to these ties go back many generations. Because these traditions are different than modernist western beliefs, there is much friction between modern generations and elders (Country Studies, 2013). Upon meeting this family and talking with them, I would be interested in their viewpoint. Are they open to western ways?What is the family structure? Are there multiple levels of generations in one home? Are they crowded in a small apartment together, or is it a smaller family in a big house where each child has their own space?
     A second way I would attempt to be culturally responsive to this family during enrollment would be to explain our procedures and policies as they apply to all families, so no misunderstandings arise as to singling this family out for any reason.
     A third way would be to encourage open and honest communication. Answer questions, ask questions, keeping a relaxed and interested demeanor to promote trust.
     A fourth way to be culturally responsive would be to encourage the child to be proud of his/her differences and talk about things that make them happy with their family. Encourage comparisons of home living, and encourage families to come to school to participate.
     Lastly, a fifth way to be culturally responsive would be to lead by example, showing warmth and understanding if there happen to be struggles in language or learning, providing ongoing curriculum that would address different perspectives (Boutte, 2008).
   A question that came to me while reading about some aspects of the culture in Afghanistan was
 providing representation in the classroom if the traditions of their homeland do not coincide with western ways. If role playing in dress up brings up multiple wives, how would that be addressed? If a girl subjects herself to being dominated and controlled, because that is how the women in her household are treated, how should this be approached?


References:

 Boutte, G. (2008). Beyond the illusion of diversity: How early childhood teachers can promote social justice. Social Studies, 99(4),

Country Studies (2013). Family, Afghanistan. Retrieved from: http://countrystudies.us/afghanistan/57.htm

Perhaps it's not right that certain incidents impact us more than others because we know the people involved, but they do. A good friend and co-worker from my past lost his son due to prejudice in Florida. When Trevon Martin was killed in Florida on February 26, I listened to the news accounts while they were  headlining, felt sympathy for all involved, tried not to form an opinion about the situation one way or the other (knowing that the media can warp the truth) and went about my business. But a few months later, in November, my friend's son Jordan Davis was shot down for no reason other than being a young black man enjoying his day in a way that an older white man did not approve of. I read every article, listened to every broadcast, sent my condolences to my friend, and have silently followed articles and his facebook account since 2012. The racism displayed is sickening and heartbreaking. The Stand Your Ground law in Florida seemingly allows a free for all on people of color in the name of self-defense. Even the words of the shooter's defense attorney, Delores Lemonidis, imply the shooter would obviously feel threatened by "four Black guys in a car (TheYoungTurks, 2013)".
     With 70% of Stand Your Ground cases allowing shooters to go free (Hundley, Taylor-Martin, & Humberg, 2012), racially diverse people will live with internalized oppression and microaggression in many more social situations than white people. There can be no equity, you can't go about living a comfortable day-to-day,when the way you look makes you a target.
     The Treyvon/Jordan Project-Division is a docu-drama being performed tonight at Valencia College. It covers a culmination of opinions and interviews examining the impact on society of these two cases. The play is designed to reach people and change stereotypes, not to go over the details of what happened. A quote from the play is "Even if one person listens, and you change their mind, then you change the world (http://youtu.be/_1s1XoTqVPg, 2015)".

Reference:

Hundley, K., Taylor-Martin, S., & Humburg, C. (2012). Florida 'stand your ground' law yields some shocking outcomes depending on how law is applied. Tampa Bay Times. Retrieved from: http://www.tampabay.com/news/publicsafety/crime/florida-stand-your-ground-law-yields-some-shocking-outcomes-depending-on/1233133

TheYoungTurks. (2013).YouTube Retreived from:http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=jordan%20russell%20davis&qs=n&form=QBVR&pq=jordan%20russell%20davis&sc=8-20&sp=-1&sk=#view=detail&mid=2E90BBB68CA8E2C0ED822E90BBB68CA8E2C0ED82