I am thankful for the opportunity to learn together with others that share my passion

     Studying for my Master's Degree has been a journey requiring a great deal of effort that I didn't know I could put out. Each week I surprise myself with what I think about, learn, and complete. Having colleagues to communicate with makes a huge difference in the relatability of the course content, and I appreciate all the differing insights I am privileged to be exposed to.
     I am more than half way finished, and am at the same time looking forward to and dreading the end of this experience. At this time I would like to thank Professor Hampshire for her patience, encouragement, and critiques to help my development.

Adjourning

     In thinking about the adjourning phase of group collaboration, whether it is difficult to disband or not varies with the importance of the goal. If the goal of the group's efforts were to get medication for a child which was not yet FDA approved, and they were successful, adjourning would be happy, sad, and satisfying at the same time. If the group's purpose was to write new policies and procedures for an organization, the members may become close during performing stage, but not as close as those participating in an emotional risk.
     A life saving drug was not available to a boy from Fredericksburg because it had not been properly tested by the FDA. A group of us got together to sensationalize the issue and promote the urgency of this little boy's plight to people outside our local area. Josh Hardy received approval for the medicine on March 14, 2014. He still has a long way to recovery, but without the efforts of our group and many others, he would not be here. It was bitter sweet to break up the group of people who worked passionately together. We all had opened up with our individual emotional burdens, and formed a strong network which can be called upon for future missions.
     I don't believe I will feel any emptiness when adjourning from my Walden classmates. I don't feel I made the connections I make with people I work with in person.
     Adjourning is an essential stage of teamwork because it ensures completion. Review of the success or failure of the efforts made by the team are a valuable learning experience.
    

A conflict at work

     We are about to be assessed for accreditation by NAEYC for the first time, because we are a new center. Although we have been open one year, everyone in management is fairly new to their job. Our director had previously been a trainer, the assistant director was a middle school guidance counselor, and the trainers were all classroom teachers before this center afforded them the positions they're in. Everyone is familiar with accreditation, but experienced it in a different capacity in the past. With the application in and the assessors due anytime around the end of May or beginning of June, management is freaking out.
     Information given to the teachers is contradictory, opinionated, or outdated. This has led to anger and frustration for teachers who are working on classroom portfolios that are constantly being changed, room arrangements that always have something wrong, or decorations that are, then aren't, appropriate.
     In the break room and at meetings of the lead teachers, more venting than productive work was being done. Our director threw up her hands at the last meeting and said she doesn't understand why no one seems to care anymore.
     I made an attempt to use the 3S skills I read about (The third side, 2013). I saw the point of view of both management and my co-workers.
     I listened to my co-teachers without agreeing or adding on to their complaints. I pointed out the fact that everybody was just nervous. They were concerned about their reputations, as well as the evaluation of their effectiveness in their new positions. Accreditation is a big deal, and a lot of it rests on the personal judgement of strangers.
     I then went to the director in the privacy of her office and explained the reason she felt no one cared anymore was the nit-picking going on after the hard work we had been doing to meet and prove standards. I asked her if she thought we could really fail accreditation if our font sizes were not uniform? Wasn't the atmosphere of the classroom more important than how many inches lower the artwork should be, and whether or not it was matted? I suggested she have the creator of the best book at each age level help the others with any major issues,  and that she should take off her trainer hat and back off.
     She was very appreciative of my coming forward, and is trying to be mindful of what she chooses to criticize.
Reference:

The third side. 2013. The third side. Retrieved from: http://www.thirdside.org/

     My self evaluation and the evaluation of my parents and coworkers all produced very similar results. I do not have a problem speaking in groups, formal or informal, depending on what is being discussed and what I have to say. Apparently this comes across to others because no one thought I had any anxiety, that I was not verbally aggressive in any way, and that I was a competent listener.
     I found the questions surprising when addressed to others, as they could not "know" if my heart beat faster when addressing people, or any other impressions that can be masked. They tried their best to answer them accurately, but complained the whole time!
     I found the idea of perception as an influence over communication was very interesting. First impressions, while not set in stone, can change the way we approach communicating with someone.
Communication processing (O'Hair & Weimann, 2012), state that what you see, hear, or touch will be unique to you . . . because of the ways in which you select, organize and interpret information.

Reference:

O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.

Strategies for Effective Communication

     The questions posed to the class this week had us evaluating whether we communicate differently with different cultures of people, and if so, in what ways? I thought about these questions during the week, and it made me aware of my actions and conversations.
     When I am in class with my co-workers, we work in sync and require little communication because we are so familiar and comfortable with each other. When interacting with the parents of my class, I can be blunt and sarcastic with some because they appreciate my humor. Others I am more reserved with, sensing through body language that they do not want to get as personal.
    Running errands today, I became engaged in a conversation with a woman on line in front of me who was dressed in traditional Indian clothing. Remembering the Platinum Rule, "treat others as they would like to be treated (Beebe & Beebe, 2011)," I refrained from commenting on her clothing. As an American, I would like to be complimented on what I was wearing, but I didn't know if she would feel uncomfortable with the attention.
     At the gym this morning, I avoided asking an older gentleman (my age) how to use the equipment he was using because I didn't want him to think I was being forward, so I waited until a young guy was on it.     
     I feel my communication skills are mature enough to be adapted to these situations. But to communicate on a professional level with cultures I am not familiar with, I would employ the following strategies:
     1) Listen with attention and concern.
     2) Search for similarities or common ground with which to bring a comfort level to the
           relationship.
     3) Suspend judgment.
     4) Be aware of any nonverbal behavior, and recognize my own, controlling it if necessary.
     5) Smile and be sincere.

Reference:

Beebe, S.A., Beebe, S.J., & Redmond, M.V. (2011). Interpersonal communication: Relating to others (6th ed.). Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon.

 .

     For my communications assignment, I needed to watch a show I had never seen before without the sound on. I watched a show called The United States of Tara. It was the perfect show to observe nonverbal communicative behaviors! Tara experiences multiple personalities when she is under stressful situations, and her family tries to support her as she stops taking the medication that was preventing this. The actions of her separate personalities were pronounced to help the audience identify them.
"T" was a teenage girl, obvious by her choice of dress and bouncy, giggly behavior. "Buck" was a man, displayed also by choice of dress and sauntering walk. He also clapped with his hands higher with elbows out when a performance ended. "Alice" was a 50's perfect housewife who wore an A line dress, apron, and pumps while doing household chores.
     I could determine the relationships of the immediate family members for most of the characters because of the context of the household. A woman who came in during dinner seemed to be flirting with the husband of the family through eye contact, coy smiles and the way she held her head when she talked. When I watched with the sound, she turned out to be Tara's sister, and her words reinforced the fact that she was flirting with Tara's husband.
     Many of the nonverbal cues were missed without the words to go with it. Although the assumptions I made about the characters were pretty close, the conversations that went with the actions enriched the show. Once I knew the characters and premise of the show, I watched another episode without the sound. It was easier to guess the story line being familiar with the characters.

An Effective Communicator

Reverend Doctor Charlene Hogan

Dr. Hogan was the guest speaker at a career seminar I attended recently. She left a profound impression on me just from her style of communication, as her message was common to most career seminars. The body language, confidence, and positivity she exuded while speaking about believing in yourself, never giving up, etc. made the message richer and more believable than any other I had heard before. The process of her communication, how it was said, made her communication more effective. Her use of different behaviors was appropriate to the venue, shouting at



times and speaking quietly and directly, with eye contact, to some individuals. But I believe her posture and carriage is what remains in my mind; she communicated such confidence I would believe anything she said could be true.
 Her mannerisms were foremost on my mind when I recently interviewed for a job. I stood taller, shoulders back, and relaxed my face into a smile. When I spoke, I spoke a little louder than I normally would have, and was sure to pronounce my words clearly. Although I had to admit in the interview that I didn't have experience in many areas, I was still selected to continue on to a second interview, and I feel it had a lot to do with the way I communicated, not what I communicated. (I didn't get the job--I really wasn't qualified--but I almost pulled it off!)

Awareness of the realities of bias

Throughout this course, it has been recognized by a large number of my colleagues and myself just how blind many of us are to the biases, oppressions and aggressions that are happening all around us. I can only assume that many of the families I come in contact with are similarly ignorant. It is my hope that the generation of children growing up now will embrace diversity, not just tolerate it.

Early on in the course, I began to have a feeling of obligation to expose myself to a more diverse community. However, I am making it a goal to remain in the community of my dominant culture and enlighten the families I serve about the realities of microaggressions and internalized oppression. Children learn from what they see and hear from their parents; it is important that parents eyes are opened to the damage they might be unintentionally be causing.

     As a last note to my colleagues in this class, I would like to thank each and every one of you for your personal reflections and viewpoints. I enjoyed every week and looked forward to the readings, the extra videos, and our exchange of ideas. Good luck in your pursuits, and I hope to see you in future classes! Maybe at a conference for education!

 

A theoretical family from Afghanistan comes to my center

     For my assignment, I chose Afghanistan even though I have heard of it before because what little I think I know is probably incorrect. If a child was being enrolled at my center whose family is here either permanently or temporarily, I want to be sure to address them in a way that will help them feel welcome.

    How are they coming to the center? Expectedly, through an agency, or unexpectedly, showing up at my door for a tour? Obviously if they were expected, I would research what I could about the country, its political relationship with the U.S. and read up on it's cultures and traditions. By doing some preliminary research, I found that women and men do not touch; I would be sure not to offer my hand for a handshake. I also found that women do not make eye contact with men; I would be careful to avoid this.

     Their family ties are very important, and cultural traditions relating to these ties go back many generations. Because these traditions are different than modernist western beliefs, there is much friction between modern generations and elders (Country Studies, 2013). Upon meeting this family and talking with them, I would be interested in their viewpoint. Are they open to western ways?What is the family structure? Are there multiple levels of generations in one home? Are they crowded in a small apartment together, or is it a smaller family in a big house where each child has their own space?
     A second way I would attempt to be culturally responsive to this family during enrollment would be to explain our procedures and policies as they apply to all families, so no misunderstandings arise as to singling this family out for any reason.
     A third way would be to encourage open and honest communication. Answer questions, ask questions, keeping a relaxed and interested demeanor to promote trust.
     A fourth way to be culturally responsive would be to encourage the child to be proud of his/her differences and talk about things that make them happy with their family. Encourage comparisons of home living, and encourage families to come to school to participate.
     Lastly, a fifth way to be culturally responsive would be to lead by example, showing warmth and understanding if there happen to be struggles in language or learning, providing ongoing curriculum that would address different perspectives (Boutte, 2008).
   A question that came to me while reading about some aspects of the culture in Afghanistan was
 providing representation in the classroom if the traditions of their homeland do not coincide with western ways. If role playing in dress up brings up multiple wives, how would that be addressed? If a girl subjects herself to being dominated and controlled, because that is how the women in her household are treated, how should this be approached?


References:

 Boutte, G. (2008). Beyond the illusion of diversity: How early childhood teachers can promote social justice. Social Studies, 99(4),

Country Studies (2013). Family, Afghanistan. Retrieved from: http://countrystudies.us/afghanistan/57.htm

Perhaps it's not right that certain incidents impact us more than others because we know the people involved, but they do. A good friend and co-worker from my past lost his son due to prejudice in Florida. When Trevon Martin was killed in Florida on February 26, I listened to the news accounts while they were  headlining, felt sympathy for all involved, tried not to form an opinion about the situation one way or the other (knowing that the media can warp the truth) and went about my business. But a few months later, in November, my friend's son Jordan Davis was shot down for no reason other than being a young black man enjoying his day in a way that an older white man did not approve of. I read every article, listened to every broadcast, sent my condolences to my friend, and have silently followed articles and his facebook account since 2012. The racism displayed is sickening and heartbreaking. The Stand Your Ground law in Florida seemingly allows a free for all on people of color in the name of self-defense. Even the words of the shooter's defense attorney, Delores Lemonidis, imply the shooter would obviously feel threatened by "four Black guys in a car (TheYoungTurks, 2013)".
     With 70% of Stand Your Ground cases allowing shooters to go free (Hundley, Taylor-Martin, & Humberg, 2012), racially diverse people will live with internalized oppression and microaggression in many more social situations than white people. There can be no equity, you can't go about living a comfortable day-to-day,when the way you look makes you a target.
     The Treyvon/Jordan Project-Division is a docu-drama being performed tonight at Valencia College. It covers a culmination of opinions and interviews examining the impact on society of these two cases. The play is designed to reach people and change stereotypes, not to go over the details of what happened. A quote from the play is "Even if one person listens, and you change their mind, then you change the world (http://youtu.be/_1s1XoTqVPg, 2015)".

Reference:

Hundley, K., Taylor-Martin, S., & Humburg, C. (2012). Florida 'stand your ground' law yields some shocking outcomes depending on how law is applied. Tampa Bay Times. Retrieved from: http://www.tampabay.com/news/publicsafety/crime/florida-stand-your-ground-law-yields-some-shocking-outcomes-depending-on/1233133

TheYoungTurks. (2013).YouTube Retreived from:http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=jordan%20russell%20davis&qs=n&form=QBVR&pq=jordan%20russell%20davis&sc=8-20&sp=-1&sk=#view=detail&mid=2E90BBB68CA8E2C0ED822E90BBB68CA8E2C0ED82

Microaggression

     Learning about microaggression and its compound effect on targets of it has made me ashamed of myself and the countless times I have been the person unintentionally causing discomfort to people I have been in contact with. I want to really learn to be able to distinguish between proper compliments and how they are worded and comments that constitute microaggression.

     My evening co-teacher is a beautiful black woman. She changes her hair regularly, sometimes wearing wigs, sometimes putting in extensions, sometimes doing her natural hair in creative ways. I found out black hair doesn't get washed too often. I am always telling her I wish I had her hair, which is listed as one of  "nine things everyone needs to stop saying to black women immediately"(Turner, 2014) because my options are: down, or ponytail. I can't skip two days washing, conditioning, and
blow drying, or my head would look like a greasy mess. But I feel I am being honest; I admire the versatility, and the apparent easy-care.

     I have also joked with a gay co-worker about his (assumed) sense of style, but it always seemed encouraged by him. Now I am wondering if my comments were first, or after his poking fun at himself.

 I would like to present a scenario to my colleagues for your opinion:

     I am a white, middle class, 50+ woman. I happen to listen to a lot of rap, among other types of music, probably because my 18 year old fills my playlist for me. While passing a table of co-workers chatting among themselves, all young, single people, the man at the table made a reference to an older song (I don't know the title) about wobble, baby, wobble, baby and I sang the verse and did a little dance. They all were shocked, laughed and made comments about my knowledge of the song words and hurting myself moving like that at my age.

     Should I have been offended? I did feel a little weird and thought maybe I should have kept to myself. Can members of the dominant culture be targets of micro aggression? I shudder at how many remarks I have made to my daughter's boyfriend about his whiteness, all in fun, but I'm sure he's tired of it. He said he was nicknamed sunscreen boy in college.

Reference:

Turner, E. (2014). Nine things everyone needs to stop saying to black women.  http://everydayfeminism.com/2014/10/9-things-stop-saying-black-women/
     

For my class assignment, I needed to ask three people their idea of what culture and diversity were. I asked a 25 year old white, middle class woman with a high school education, a black 23 year old with a college degree in sociology, and a 12 year old mixed race girl from a middle class family.

     The 25 year old white woman responded with the typical short answer regarding racial differences and being accepting of them. It opened up an interesting conversation, because of course I had to relay what I am learning. She said she did not think she had a culture, because to her that meant something which is actually diversity. Being like "most people" to her meant she was not different. She enjoyed discovering that she had some unique qualities, giving her culture!

     The black 23 year old college graduate knew exactly what I was asking and gave me a detailed description of her ethnicity, her heritage, and her culture (including the surface culture and deep culture!). Her definition of diversity was "varying characteristics people in a common interest group possess."

     I asked the older sister of one of my students what she thought of culture and diversity. She said that culture was how a person lives, and diversity was people being together who are different from each other.

     I felt the woman who was like me thought like I did at the beginning of this course--that because we are part of the main stream, and don't have any family traditions, that we did not have culture.
With the exception of my college graduate friend, only race was thought of when describing culture and diversity. Most people, if not properly educated, do not think of housing situations, parenting techniques, health care, work, religion, gender roles, or any of the multitude of deep culture characteristics. All these contribute to a person's identity, and their actions and reactions in social situations.

     I enjoy opening up my eyes to deeper meanings for people I don't know, and also enjoy telling others about it. It will help me to provide better educational opportunities for all the children and families I serve.

    

My blog assignment this week required more thought than any other. I needed to select three items that are important to me that I can take with me if I were to be relocated to a foreign country. I read the assignment on Sunday and the puzzle has been with me everyday, all day, all week. Is it pathetic that I have no such items? Nothing that represents my heritage, my culture, my beliefs? I have no family heirlooms, no recipe books, no special Bible or even photo albums. I do have boxes and boxes of recent family photos and vhs tapes that I treasure, but those would not be practical to take with me.
     I suppose my phone, which holds all my contacts, thousands of pictures, access to internet, maps, language translations, and currency conversions, would be the most valuable as well as practical for me to take. I also have a small Swiss army knife, given to me by my daughter, which means a lot and is also practical.
     My family has many works of art that were created by my grandfather and his brother. These are huge sculptures and paintings that are no smaller than 5'x10'. Most of them are in Italy, but my parents have a few paintings. I have photos of these items--on my phone.
I could not even come up with a third item. So, if I was told upon arrival in my new country that I could only have one thing, it would be my phone. As long as I had my family (which had better include my dog Sasha!) everything else is just stuff.
     From reading about the cultures that do exist in other families, and traditions they have enjoyed, I do feel a bit left out. But, my current family life is so fulfilling that I wouldn't dare complain.

     I do want to talk about my trip to Chicago this weekend. My husband and I had to find our way off the plane to the correct train, figure out how to buy a ticket from the machine, catch a bus going in the right direction, figure out how to pay that fare, determine which stop to get off and which direction to walk to find my daughter's new apartment. With all this discussion and the readings on my mind, I was gaining a slight perspective of what it would be like to find your way around in a completely new place, and you couldn't speak the language to ask for help. I have to give immigrants a lot of credit to be brave enough (or desperate enough) to attempt this.