My self evaluation and the evaluation of my parents and coworkers all produced very similar results. I do not have a problem speaking in groups, formal or informal, depending on what is being discussed and what I have to say. Apparently this comes across to others because no one thought I had any anxiety, that I was not verbally aggressive in any way, and that I was a competent listener.
     I found the questions surprising when addressed to others, as they could not "know" if my heart beat faster when addressing people, or any other impressions that can be masked. They tried their best to answer them accurately, but complained the whole time!
     I found the idea of perception as an influence over communication was very interesting. First impressions, while not set in stone, can change the way we approach communicating with someone.
Communication processing (O'Hair & Weimann, 2012), state that what you see, hear, or touch will be unique to you . . . because of the ways in which you select, organize and interpret information.

Reference:

O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.

Strategies for Effective Communication

     The questions posed to the class this week had us evaluating whether we communicate differently with different cultures of people, and if so, in what ways? I thought about these questions during the week, and it made me aware of my actions and conversations.
     When I am in class with my co-workers, we work in sync and require little communication because we are so familiar and comfortable with each other. When interacting with the parents of my class, I can be blunt and sarcastic with some because they appreciate my humor. Others I am more reserved with, sensing through body language that they do not want to get as personal.
    Running errands today, I became engaged in a conversation with a woman on line in front of me who was dressed in traditional Indian clothing. Remembering the Platinum Rule, "treat others as they would like to be treated (Beebe & Beebe, 2011)," I refrained from commenting on her clothing. As an American, I would like to be complimented on what I was wearing, but I didn't know if she would feel uncomfortable with the attention.
     At the gym this morning, I avoided asking an older gentleman (my age) how to use the equipment he was using because I didn't want him to think I was being forward, so I waited until a young guy was on it.     
     I feel my communication skills are mature enough to be adapted to these situations. But to communicate on a professional level with cultures I am not familiar with, I would employ the following strategies:
     1) Listen with attention and concern.
     2) Search for similarities or common ground with which to bring a comfort level to the
           relationship.
     3) Suspend judgment.
     4) Be aware of any nonverbal behavior, and recognize my own, controlling it if necessary.
     5) Smile and be sincere.

Reference:

Beebe, S.A., Beebe, S.J., & Redmond, M.V. (2011). Interpersonal communication: Relating to others (6th ed.). Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon.

 .

     For my communications assignment, I needed to watch a show I had never seen before without the sound on. I watched a show called The United States of Tara. It was the perfect show to observe nonverbal communicative behaviors! Tara experiences multiple personalities when she is under stressful situations, and her family tries to support her as she stops taking the medication that was preventing this. The actions of her separate personalities were pronounced to help the audience identify them.
"T" was a teenage girl, obvious by her choice of dress and bouncy, giggly behavior. "Buck" was a man, displayed also by choice of dress and sauntering walk. He also clapped with his hands higher with elbows out when a performance ended. "Alice" was a 50's perfect housewife who wore an A line dress, apron, and pumps while doing household chores.
     I could determine the relationships of the immediate family members for most of the characters because of the context of the household. A woman who came in during dinner seemed to be flirting with the husband of the family through eye contact, coy smiles and the way she held her head when she talked. When I watched with the sound, she turned out to be Tara's sister, and her words reinforced the fact that she was flirting with Tara's husband.
     Many of the nonverbal cues were missed without the words to go with it. Although the assumptions I made about the characters were pretty close, the conversations that went with the actions enriched the show. Once I knew the characters and premise of the show, I watched another episode without the sound. It was easier to guess the story line being familiar with the characters.

An Effective Communicator

Reverend Doctor Charlene Hogan

Dr. Hogan was the guest speaker at a career seminar I attended recently. She left a profound impression on me just from her style of communication, as her message was common to most career seminars. The body language, confidence, and positivity she exuded while speaking about believing in yourself, never giving up, etc. made the message richer and more believable than any other I had heard before. The process of her communication, how it was said, made her communication more effective. Her use of different behaviors was appropriate to the venue, shouting at



times and speaking quietly and directly, with eye contact, to some individuals. But I believe her posture and carriage is what remains in my mind; she communicated such confidence I would believe anything she said could be true.
 Her mannerisms were foremost on my mind when I recently interviewed for a job. I stood taller, shoulders back, and relaxed my face into a smile. When I spoke, I spoke a little louder than I normally would have, and was sure to pronounce my words clearly. Although I had to admit in the interview that I didn't have experience in many areas, I was still selected to continue on to a second interview, and I feel it had a lot to do with the way I communicated, not what I communicated. (I didn't get the job--I really wasn't qualified--but I almost pulled it off!)