The Child I Failed

When I first considered this post, I immediately thought of my very first charge, an 18 month old girl who had the most peculiar behavior I ever encountered. Long involved story-- but she is on the autism spectrum, received lots of services, taught her mother and me lots about rights and inclusion, and is now 20 years old. She and her family are still close to mine; she spent a week with us each summer since we moved away, and still chats with me on FB about her part time jobs.
A more accurate story about why I feel passionate about helping families in my future is about little boy who came to my home day care because his mom was eligible for social services, and I was a licensed provider for them. I failed him by not getting him the help he needed. I had some training in family connections, but not enough. Not in the untraditional types of parents who were facing personal challenges even before their unplanned pregnancy. I thought I knew all about special needs because of "my" little girl (we became very close), and suspected that Jason was exhibiting issues. He was 30 months old, and did not acknowledge any communication directed at him. He had no verbal skills at all except crying and screeching. When trying to talk to mom, who was 18, going to college and living with her parents, she did not want to believe what I was trying to tell her. One day she told me a story about locking him in his room so she could do her homework and he had thrown himself against the door for over an hour, until he finally emptied all his clothing from his drawers, made a pile in the middle of the floor, and fell asleep. She had thought this was funny, and I was upset. From her accounts, he received little to no affection or attention at home. She would complain that he didn't want her, wouldn't come when she called him, and pushed her away if she tried to hug him. I pleaded with her to have at least his hearing tested, and to give him more of her time. This was not received well, and our relationship became strained.
After a month more of performing my own uneducated tests, and no cooperation from her, I called CPS and filed a medical neglect charge. They came to see him and took my report. She knew it had been me that filed the report, and angrily took him from my care. I have never seen or heard from him again, and will always feel tremendous sadness and guilt wondering had I approached the situation differently, could he have been with me and at least gotten love in the hours he spent at my home. I think of this boy often, especially when shaping my vision for helping families now and in the future. I want to be sure to say and do the right things to ensure every child gets the proper consideration from the people in their lives.